Your Attention Please

i used to blog frequently. until twitter came along. now, i micro-blog. it is too easy. and i don’t have to spend time to think.

the world is getting faster and more concise with each passing day, hour and minute. Instant gratification is not merely relished, it’s demanded. Writing this a few years ago would have taken up all my concentration. Today, my mind somersaults through a plethora of activities, a dozen times a minute as i ‘Alt-Tab’ my way through the open windows before i manage to complete one sentence. my attention span has been reduced to that of a gnat. Does all this context switching affect my writing? maybe. for better or worse? can’t say. i know for a fact that my writing is certainly different when i write the old-fashioned way, than when i type.

i feel restless if i don’t click on the ‘You have a new mail’ alert, the moment it pops up. or if the hourglass pointer shows up for more than a few seconds. my irritation is demonstrated as violently shake the mouse as if doing that would somehow cause it to go away. one word: ADD.

the disorder seems contagious. ppl are always on the edge and are loosing it at the drop of a hat. they can’t sit still for more than a few minutes…unless they’re watching TV, in case of which, they can stare at it for hours without moving a muscle (well, except the thumb to switch channels). which brings us to another important observation: ppl (including me) are becoming lazier. most would choose activities like sleeping, watching TV and thinking in decreasing order of priority, given a choice. working out doesn’t even make the list anymore. reading books? forget it… takes too much time and efforts. and who reads books anyways? kindle? sure, just can’t seem to focus on reading one, when the news feeds are updated every other minute. i gotta stay updated on the latest celebrity gossip, you know? it’s pretty popular at the water cooler.

everyone always has had a choice. except, now the choice has gone from choosing between reading one or other to choosing whether to read or zone out. the scary part is, in most of the cases today, it’s the latter that gets chosen.

are we all becoming so poor that we can’t even pay attention?

or is it the other way round? in today’s attention economy, my attention span became one of the most coveted commodity as everyone tried really hard to get my attention. pretty soon, they were all shouting at the top of their lungs clamoring to get my attention. initially, i ignored them. over time, i turned deaf.

next on the list is finding some techniques to combat the impulses my brain so that i can …hey, it’s Friday! wonder what the weather is like over the weekend.

A Life Less Ordinary

It is the middle of Spring and one of the glorious days of abundant Sunlight and intermittent breeze.
i sit outdoors sprawled on a beach chair on our front porch, listening to a multitude of melodious bird calls and watching puffs of clouds sail by, slowly and silently.
The same wind that drives the clouds noiselessly above, softly rustles the new, green leaves, and the branches wave as if they're happy to get some movement in their otherwise staid existence.
Small birds dive through the dense branches most possibly looking for food, while squirrels jump around and scamper up and down tree trunks seemingly implying they don't have time to hang around.
Water seeps through the soil and trickles down from huge boulders, a drop at a time. Every drop hesitating for a fraction of a second before finally taking the plunge from the edge of its diving board to meet Mother Earth below. Light briefly glints off them in that pause, and goes off. Like fireflies glowing on and off at regular intervals.
Creepers hang from the rocks, snaking across the flat surfaces and moss clumps provide colour to the gray and black background. Some small plants find their way through the rocky crevices and protrude out seeking the Sun.
The scent of the forest - grass, trees, an Earth - gently wafts through the surrounding like incense.
The slow drone of an aircraft somewhere above makes me look for it. It is not hard to locate. The vapour trails streaking across the skies effortlessly lead me to it. The trails stretch for some distance like slashes of light cut through the blue expanse; curling and evaporating into nothingness at the tail end as the aircraft blazes across - as if trying to get away from the very sound it is making.

Mind wanders. Thoughts criss-cross; present, past, future, as i lay still in the placid moment. Why is it so hard to let go? don't i want to?
is it this restlessness of the mind that has brought Mankind to this state? always wanting, always yearning for more, overlooking what it has been bestowed. always brooding, always contemplating.
i close my eyes, trying not to think. only trying. songs play in my mind, and i resist my music player.

time passes, as ever. i try and relish the moments. it does not last. (does it ever?)

The wind falls. Overhead, the clouds begin to gather and Sunlight pales, signalling the inevitable.
i wait till the first of the raindrops crash on my skin and shattering into even tinier droplets that latch on to the surface forming fragile miniature domes... only to dissolve into others to form a rivulet and slide off to the side.

like a fool, i get up and head indoors into shelter.

Waiting for Godot

Of the time i have been allocated on this planet, most is spent waiting.

Here is a typical day:

• waiting for the car to warm up
  
• waiting for traffic signals
• waiting in traffic
  
• waiting for public transport
• waiting for the public transport to reach destination
• waiting for the elevators
• waiting for the machine to boot
  
• waiting for reply to emails
• waiting for programs to build & compile
• waiting for webpages to load
  
• waiting for the other party to answer the phone
  
• waiting for the microwave to warm up food
• waiting for my turn in the queue at the shop counter
  
• waiting for the coffee machine to brew
• waiting for the time to go back home
  
• waiting for a gap in vehicles to cross the road
• waiting for someone to open the fron door
  
• waiting for the tap to dispense hot water
• waiting for food to cook
• waiting for hot food to cool down before storing it in the refrigerator
  
• waiting for time to pass after dinner so that i can sleep
• waiting for Lord Hypnos to bless me
• ...

and so it goes (the time, i mean).

If i take a wider view, there are other, err ... events, for lack of a better word (my vocab sux), that i am waiting for.

• waiting for the paycheck
• waiting for the project to end
• waiting for interview calls
• waiting for a good job offer
  
• waiting for new project to begin
• waiting for some windfall to get latest gadgets
  

Even wider view,

• waiting for 'someone special'
• waiting for a life i'll spend doing things my way
• waiting for the bank balance to get to 'comfortable' levels
  
• waiting for a peaceful easy life
• ...

While i have read all kinds of advice on 'not waiting for things to change and enjoying life in the present' and all that jazz, waiting is all that prevails.

I don't mind waiting; just that realising the the futility of it all in the ultimate certainity makes me feel even more exasperated.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock...